The blinding light seemed to throb before his blurred vision, he heard faint, worried voices around him and felt his heart straining to continue pumping. Suddenly; the movement under him stopped as his eyes grew heavy, without a sound a masked man appeared, silhouetted in the light, saying something as the boy passed out.
He had felt isolated for the latter part of his life, while it was drilled into his head how useless he was, that he was unwanted by his parents and by god. It all seemed a climax, his parent's suicide at five, the abuse from his uncle afterwards, and the singsong chant from the other kids of, " you killed your parents." It always felt so hopeless, living with that weight, told every day he murdered them, told every day in the christian town about the special place in hell for him. It grew to too great a pressure for the young male to handle, he tried to end it with a knife.
Damian awoke the next day in a white room, black stitches along both wrists and an I.V.allowing blood into his body. His head throbbed painfully as he stared at the lights above him a faint beep sounding with his heart. He knew he was in the hospital and let out a depressed sigh, wishing he hadn't been saved. The people that had surrounded him almost all of his life told him he was damned and he knew he was. Closing his eyes Damian feigned sleep as he thought over the last night. He had forgotten to lock the front door when he grabbed the knife and took it to his wrist. He remembered the deep bloody gashes now sewn shut. He knew when he felt weak from blood loss someone had come into the room and screamed. The face was all a blur though; yet, it seemed familiar.
Damian lay there reflecting on the night silently, his eyes closed tight, when he heard the door open, he tried to sit up but as soon as he did his head was swimming. He fell back onto the pillow as he looked at the nurse who looked back, " Ah! You are awake now, don't mind me I'm just here to record your vitals." He watched her quietly as his vision settled down then thought to ask something. "Why did you bother with me? How did i get here? Its not like anyone cares about me..." The nurse just smiled casually and softly spoke in responce. "We are sworn to heal all people when we enter this profession, you got here by ambulance, and you have someone who cares about you, a nice young lady named Sakura, she is the one who called for us. She has come to check on how you were doing too." He looked shocked, he knew her barely, a quiet, reserved girl with a goofy side. They never really talked but he had been told how caring she was, he just thought she pitied him. With a sigh Damian closed his eyes, he had always though Sakura was just weird; but, he didn't know how she had been the one to find him. As he thought this over the nurse finished and left the room.
After a few hours alone in the room thinking of Sakura in a daze, the door opened again and in burst Damian's uncle followed by a doctor who looked agitated. Upon seeing Damian awake and in the bed his uncle burst foreward his arm raised to hit Damian, The doctor quickly stepped in the way glaring as Damian flinched at the raised hand. The doctor spoke quickly with anger in his voice, "he is a patient of mine and I refuse to let you hit him in his current state, also I can assure you that we will not leave him in your custody anymore sir now please leave immediately." With a smirk of spite for the boy his uncle spoke slowly then, the pure hatred ringing clearly from his voice. "That boy is nothing but a leech and it is great to hear I will not have to deal with anything about him anymore, all these years he has been a burden since my brother killed himself because of the brat." Upon hearing this Damian's eyes drooped turning to look at the floor from his uncle in shame sure that the doctor would lay into him now like all the others had. The doctor just pointed to the door and escorted the vile man from the room, as he entered the hallway he caught sight of the nurse in charge or damian and smiled as he motioned for her to come over. "The next time you see the nice girl that called about Damian comes, you have my permission to let her in to see him." The nurse looked shocked and started to say, "But she's not a..." Midsentence the doctor cut her off and nodded, "I know but, I am going to report Damian's uncle for abuse, the bruises on damian's body are from him, I can guarantee that, then he will not have any family... so a kind face might help him."
It was towards the end of the visiting hours later that day the a young asian female entered the hospital. She had a goofy smile which didn't disperse the air of nervousness around her, she kinda stumbled while she looked around hopelessly before finally approaching the desk like she had earlier. The nurse behind the desk had just gotten on her shift and asked her what she wanted when a familiar face came around the corner from a hallway. The nurse in charge of Damian smiled to Sakura helpfully as she walked over, "Hello again little miss came in to check on how Damian was again?" Sakura blushed a little and looked down at the ground before stuttering something. "Umm... may... no... erm yes. How is he?" The nurse just smiled knowingly as she looked at the young girl who had her feelings stapled to her shirt. "If you would like you can ask how he is yourself the doctor has told me to allow you to see Damian if you wish, so do you?" Sakura just looked up and smiled brightly her cheeks blood red.
As Damian lay in his room thinking over what his uncle had said still a familiar voice was heard faintly in the hall. His eyes went wide then as recognized the scream from that night finally, he hadn't pieced it together that the scream was Sakura's he closed his eyes to slow his breathing a soft sigh escaping his lips as he prepared to get yelled at. He watched as she entered with a goofy smile, surprising him as she blushed when she noticed him looking at her. He raised an eyebrow as she quietly moved over and took a seat. Damian slowly spoke then, "How were... you the one that found me? Why did you bother?" Sakura looked down a bit folding her hands the goofy smile sinking away a little. "I was... worried about you... you haven't smiled in days so I decided to ask whats wrong but... I never got the chance at school... So I found out where you lived and visited only to find you bleeding." Damian looked shocked at this then looked to the other side of the bed his eyes closing with a sigh. "You didn't have to worry... I was only going to get what I deserved all along... I don't need your pity!" After this statement Sakura was quiet her breathing could hardly be heard and when Damian finally looked around her saw tears forming in the corners of her eyes as she stared at her hands.
"Its... not pity... I really care for you and I think you deserve to live... I know what the others say but that isn't the only existence you can live... its not the only belief... I don't think you did anything bad. I think you have just lived and you have suffered enough..." She drifted off before standing tears now coming down her cheeks. "I have to go now..." With that she rushed from the room and down the hall her goofy look gone as Damian stared blankly after her, then clenching his fist he curled up on the bed. What am I to do now he thought to himself slowly thinking over what went wrong, he had always assumed that everyone must be right, but if so then why did Sakura say there was something different. He continued to ponder over this until he drifted off to sleep.
Time passed and Damian became worried, he heard nothing of Sakura visiting and his wrists were healing fast, the medical proof the doctor had made the court case basically open and shut within two weeks of being filed it was finished and it was determined that Damian would live with a kind old man in the town while his uncle would be sentenced to 5 years in jail, but in all this time Sakura never came to check in on Damian again and he became very worried. Emotionally he was still in a bind but the doctor had placed him under a prescription antidepressant and the old man began to visit. He was a strange man also of asian decent, he reminded Damian of Sakura a little which just made him worry more. Time continued to flow by and they decided to dismiss Damian from the hospital one month after he had arrived.
Life seemed to flow much slower and everyone knew about what he had done, his few friends were avoiding him now as he quietly moved through the school. Every time he saw Sakura she justed hurried away from him without a word, finally one day he was sitting out on the elementary school's swings staring at the sunset in the autumn. He was humming a tuneless melody to himself as he thought over things, life had become more tolerable with the old man. He had begun to learn of Buddhism the concepts were very interesting to him and he was learning fast the customs. As he sat there swinging quietly the chains creaking on the old set a pair of footsteps sounded behind him. He turned around and looked at the person. There was Sakura a bow in her hair as he looked at him quietly, stopping the swing Damian stood up and looking down as well he talked to her quietly. "I found a different way... I understand what you meant... and I am sorry about what I said..." Without a word in responce Sakura headed over to the monkey bars and sat down on them watching him. Then stepping foreward he smiled to her warmly and hugged her the sun shineing behind the two, both of them understanding.
A treasured memory:
It seemed like ages since that day long ago. He had experienced good times and bad times, lonely times and times with friends. He tried his hardest to pull his life together though, even though every day he suffered at times from a disorder he inherited from his father. Although he thought himself worthless at times he struggled on with life because of a promise he had given to some out loud to others silently, there were people who passed like smoke through his life and others that cut like blades into his personality each leaving a mark.
Above all though one person left a mark which he could not separate himself from, someone who left no cuts but only bandages, a healing touch like no other in the body of a goofy girl. Sakura had taught him how to live with words that held a deeper meaning, thinking of life as a joyful thing to look forward to. She had taught him even though he only brought tears to her eyes at the time with his heartless words, but one thing remained in his mind to this day, a moment in which time stopped a soft breeze blowing a ribbon in her hair as they embraced on an abandoned playground.
It had been two years since that time and all of the time he had spent with her since, was kept in his heart healing what others had done. He spoke to her in the evenings several days a week always a goofy conversation but full of heart. Her silly attitude seemed almost perfect to him now as he spoke with her laughing occasionally. She had, in essence, filled a void in his life; a person who could bring out his happiness and allow him to forget his troubles.
He in no way knew everything about her yet and didn’t want to pry into her life only talking of what she would speak of and this was enough. He always was thinking of something to do and finally he decided on something he believed she would enjoy. It was spring when he called her up the weekend had just started and she seemed kind of tired, obviously having pulled another long night for homework, he just smiled listening to her breath for a second before he finally spoke. “Hello Sakura? I was wondering if you would like to join me in Cherry Park this afternoon? You know by the playground?” She just smiled a little and agreed to it the memory flashing to life for an instant before fading.
When Sakura finally arrived she saw Damian sitting on a swing, the exact swing he had been on that day, and as she walked over she moved along the path she remembered taking and then stopped where she had before. He smiled to her softly and then moved forward hugging her again his eyes closing as he listened to her breath for a little while before letting go. “I brought some lunch for us if you want any… Its pasta.” She smiled and nodded as they headed off the playground to the cherry tree, everything perfect.
Epilogue: New
People come and people go, some leave marks that remain forever. There are those that heal us and those who hurt us. The girl in this story is based loosely off of someone I knew like that, she has moved elsewhere and I have not spoken to her in a long time. But I still love her, and I thank her for her support. I pushed her away and she forgave me and cared even though I was horrible... May she live happily ever after.
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